How do you make lotion bars? None of your beeswax!

While digging in my bathroom closet the other day, I came across a block of beeswax that I bought last holiday season for making chapstick (recipe coming at some point soon).  It was a "what the hell do I do with a big block of beeswax" kind of moment.  You guys have those moments?  I'm sure you do.  It's probably a common occurrence in your house.

I did some quick searching on the internet and found some lotion bar recipes, but they all contained oils like avocado that I can't find in my little town.  I had an epiphany and, I remembered some almond oil I also had in the tomb of my bathroom closet from another 2010 Christmas gift making bonanza.  So, I bring you Sarah's lotion bars made with ingredients you can find in stores.  Actual stores.  Not the kind of stores that sell avocado oil.

Sarah's Lotion Bars made with semi-normal shit
In a large saucepan fitted with a double boiler, place the beeswax over medium heat.
Once it is completely melted, add the almond oil to the double boiler.

Allow the white swiggles to melt a bit.  Then, add the coconut oil.  Allow it to melt completely.
Remove the double boiler from the pan and put it on a towel; dry off any water that has accumulated on the bottom.  You don't want to mix oil and water.  Or didn't you get that memo? 

Pour the mixture in to your mold of choice.  I used a $6 silicone mold tray that I bought at JoAnn fabrics to push my balance over the $25 purchase to save $5.  They sure had my number.

This is about 5 minutes after I poured.  You can see how quickly they start "setting up"
I left the bars out at room temperature overnight.  They were super easy to pop out the next day.
I cook a lot.  Didn't you get that memo?  And with cooking mostly from scratch comes approximately 4,398 hours worth of dishes per week.  (I'm not good at math...let's call that an approximate.)  My hands are looking busted of late, and I've actually contemplated getting dishwashing gloves to prevent further knuckle crackage.

This lotion is a godsend.  It totally healed my hands after just a few applications.  I woke up on Saturday feeling like someone had rubbed tiny baby butts all over my mitts.  That didn't come out too well, did it? 

Another wonderful thing about this lotion is that it has pretty much healed a few little patches of eczema that Jack has had near his mouth lately.  I made these bars on Friday, applied a little on Jack before bed that night, and again on Saturday, and it's nearly gonzo.

It smells so clean and natural, it works amazing, and better yet, it didn't require any avocados getting milked.