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Tuesday, January 17, 2012

This may not be easy to hear...

...but I make better scrambled eggs than you.  Well, actually, since I believe in the 1% possibility, I'm 99% certain that I make better eggs than you do.

Do you need a moment to compose yourself?  Are you okay?  I know what you're going through right now.  I used to think I made pretty good eggs.  Then, I met Troy.  And then Troy invited me to his family's Christmas eve dinner and I tasted his mom's scrambled eggs.  And then I realized that my eggs were a huge pile of crap.  Thankfully, the woman who eventually became my mother-in-law shared her secret with me.  And today?  Today, I share with you.  The secret ingredient is hers, but the spices are all mine.

Mother-in-law eggies
Eggs (pastured preferred)- total number is your choice.  I do six when I'm making eggs for the three of us
1/8 tsp of dried dill
1/8-1/4 tsp lemon pepper
1/2 tsp dried chives
1 slice of cheddar cheese
Dollop of cream cheese (organic preferred)
Meat if desired (I either do bacon or sliced ham)

Start with a skillet.  Heat it empty for about 5 minutes over medium heat (my burners go from 1 to 10.  I make eggs on a 6).

While it's heating up, whisk your desired number of egg in a bowl, and add the spices.

Then, and this is the secret, put a dollop of cream cheese in the skillet (about 1 tblsp).  Let it sit there for about one minute.
I know, I know, teflon is a no no.  I got a new ceramic cast iron pan for Christmas, but it was back ordered
when these pictures were taken.
Add the whisked eggs.  Top with cheese and meat (if desired).
My advice for you when making scrambled eggs is the same advice that I would give to any new dad who is sitting at home expectantly when his wife comes home from her 6 week post partum check up - it's not ready yet.  Just leave it the fuck alone.  In other words, don't bother the eggs for a good long while.  I start to stir them when the eggs are separating from the pan.
See how the egg seems to be separating from the pan at the edges?  That is what you're looking for.
Give it one or two good stirs, turn the heat off, but keep the pan on the burner for another minute.
Eggs are delicious on their own (my dinner of choice when I'm working late and Jack eats at my aunt's), but are perfection served with home canned peaches and cherry chocolate scones.
So there you have it - the secret is a dollop of cream cheese and some tasty spices.  Please don't curse at the screen and yell "but Sarah, MY eggs are the best".  Please just make these first and then judge for yourself.  And then if I'm wrong and your eggs are still better, feel free to call me a bitch.

I've shared this with Traditional Tuesdays, and Fat Tuesdays.
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  1. The kids were gonna have a "throw it in a pot" meal full of beans, but now they are getting scrambled eggs! I wish I could get some real eggs?!?!?!?

    U crack me up. This is seriously the funniest blog for real food!

    Christine in Fla

    1. Did the kiddos like them? I swear recipes taste twice as good if you can get the kids on board.

  2. So yeah- I will make your scrambled egg recipe-
    but was really turned off with your profanity.

  3. Thanks for linking your great post to FAT TUESDAY. This was very interesting! Hope to see you next week!

    Be sure to visit on Sunday for Sunday Snippets – your post from Fat Tuesday may be featured there!

    Share your great fermented food recipes at my Probiotic Food Linky – open through Februray 6, 2012.

  4. I think I needed a few more seconds to compose myself. It is a hard truth to accept. I think I'll be mourning these next few breakfasts. Then I'll make these. I need to get the dried dill, though. Thanks for sharing. Love the humor!

    1. I must need new glasses because I thought you said you didn't have dill at home. How could that be?! Dill is a staple in our house and is used multiple times a week. I hope you correct your ways and bring some in to your kitchen.

      Hee hee

  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

  6. I found you for your frugal tips. I stay for the humor! The recipes are a bonus! I will try this recipe today!! Great blog!!

  7. The kids loved them! I made a batch of buttermilk biscuits and they tore it up!
    I agree with Dara; your blog is fun to read and the real food is awesome! I'm hooking the kids up with an end of midterms jello...yeah we get crazy round here.

    Christine Fla

    1. Total win if the kids loved them! Mmmm, buttermilk biscuits - you're making me drool!

      Jello party? Pure insanity in your house! HA!

  8. +3 for humor and another +1 for profanity. What if I am totally grossed out by cream cheese?! I guess I resign to eating lame eggs. Sad! I am going to try eggs for dinner tonight (I only think of eggs in the morning). I've got dill, smoked salmon, and cheese!

  9. Oh oh oh, I may have to try this! Just strained off some whey from raw milk and need to find ways to eat that cream cheese. Not too fond of it on its own but in eggs might work. Thanks!


    (and apologies if this posts a few times. Blogger doesn't seem to like my WP account right now.)

  10. Just found your blog. I enjoy your ideas and humor. I found it so quaint and funny, you needed 6 eggs for the 3 of you! I forget what "normal people" do! 6 eggs wouldn't even feed 1 teenage boy, and I have 3 teenage boys! :-) I have 6 kids total. When we make eggs we use 2.5-3 dozen! LOL! I can use all the help I can get being frugal, and enjoy the giggles along the way!

    1. Oh my goodness, you need some chickens lady!!! I dread the day when Jack turns in to a teen and decides to bring friends home for dinner. My in-laws describe Troy and his friends like plagues of locusts when they were over and eating!

  11. OMYGOSH! I don't think I've ever laughed so hard reading a recipe than when I read your instructions here. You go girl.

  12. I love cheese and sour cream on eggs and this sounds even more delicious. I like to use egg beaters cause of the fat free. Love ur blog!! :)

  13. Source please for your ceramic cast iron...

  14. I used to think I made really good eggs....... Thanks!

  15. I had this epiphany all by myself and added cream cheese years ago, super creamy deliciousness! I think its nicer to add fresh herbs from the garden, just as you turn it off. So I guess I make that 1%! haha. I also like mine super soft and there is a technique to squiggling your eggs in the pan (kinda like folding)to get a silky texture. If you can be bothered!

  16. OK, I made your eggs and they were pretty good. But I still like mine better!

    To be fair, mine already have dill and a dollop of greek yoghurt, so they are similar. But I only add a bit of pepper and turmeric. Turmeric is the soul mate of scrambled eggs! You should try it.

    And instead of using cheese or meat, this scrambled egg mixture is nice poured over nuked/sliced sweet potato and chopped onion, then cooked like a frittata. Awesome :) And even better cold in lunches the next day!


Comments make me more excited than Jessie Spano on caffeine pills!

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