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Friday, May 25, 2012

The lazy lady's guide to homemade egg rolls

Want to know a secret?  It's a big one.

I am Lazy.

With a capital L.

It's true.  I like making homemade things, but if it takes too long, or gets too complicated, I tend to throw in the towel and yell "this is stupid".

I'm lazy.

And six.

So, if you're like me, and still love egg rolls, this post is for you!

Lazy Lady Egg Rolls
-Egg roll wrappers
-1 bag of coleslaw mix (just the kind with the cabbage and carrots.  Not the sauce too)
-1 small bowl of water
-Dipping sauce of your choice (you need the sauce.  Most egg rolls have "cooked" innards that are flavored already. These aren't.  Because they're Lazy Lady Egg Rolls (remember?).  So you need the sauce to add flavor that is missing from the "insides".)

1) Lay out 1 egg roll wrapper on a flat surface.

2) Put a small amount of the cabbage mixture in the middle.

3) Fold the ends over the mixture.

4) Starting at one of the long ends, roll the wrapper up and over the folded ends.

5) When you come to the end of the wrap, put it over the wrapper.

6) Wet your finger in the bowl of water, and "paint" the seam closed.

If you're going to serve these right away, heat a cast iron skillet over medium heat for about 5 minutes.  Then add enough oil (I use coconut) to cover the bottom of the skillet.  Place the egg roll "seam side" down in the oil.
Turns out if you freeze egg rolls and then let them thaw completely, they flatten out and resemble a 100 year old man's scrot...nevermind.  But I was too lazy to remake these just for a nice photo.
Cook it until that side is crispy and brown, and then flip.  When finished cooking, I place them on a plate lined with phonebook sheets to absorb the extra oil.
If you don't want to cook these right away, place on a cookie sheet covered in parchment paper, and freeze.  Then transfer to a freezer-proof bag or container.  No need to thaw before serving, but if you can let it sit at room temperature for a bit before cooking, it helps.  See tip in photo above though!

This is the only sweet chili sauce I can find in my podunk town that doesn't have HFCS in it.  It's quite tasty, and I encourage you to seek it out!  Avoid anything that says "Restaurant Style Sweet and Sour".  It's way too sweet and fakey.
Serve with your favorite dipping sauce.  Congratulate yourself on making something without pitching a fit and calling it stupid.
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9 comments:

  1. YUM! I spent the better part of last week trying to find a low carb gluten free egg roll wrapper recipe. Yeah, no. Did not happen. Found a low carb one though. I just haven't.. because I'm too lazy to get out the deep fryer. It didn't even occur to me to pull out of the cast iron pans and fry them up that way. Which is funny, because I "deep fry" things that way far more frequently than actually deep frying anything.
    I do like my porky egg rolls though, so I'll likely pull out a baggie of precooked sausage crumbles to add into the cabbage. (Laziness around here means getting motivated enough on grocery day to precook pretty much every meat... purely to avoid doing so when I actually have to cook a meal.)

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  2. THAT sauce is the best. I used to have it in college, and I'd eat it with fries and wraps and pretty much anything you'd use ketchup with. After graduating, I spent months looking for this particular brand, as I could not recall it. I was so happy when I found it. I still carry the large bottle with me! I think I'd try them with Miranda's suggestion and put some sausage crumbles. That sounds awesome. Thanks!

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  3. marcella macintyreMay 25, 2012 at 1:55 PM

    That is exactly how we make Lumpia (Filipino egg rolls). We just add whatever meat is available. Right now, we're trying to find a gluten-free version and the hard, need-to-be-soaked-and-take-forever-and-break-and-piss-you-off, rice spring roll wrappers are awful for lazy, clumsy cooks like me.
    Mae Ploy and Sriacha are life savers!

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  4. Thanks for the recipe and the good laugh.

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  5. Do they turn out similar if baked?

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  6. I totally made a whole, big bunch of these last weekend, and froze them up. I got super un-lazy (strange for me...) and cooked the cabbage mix (for like five minutes) in sesame oil with some ground ginger and soy sauce. OMG. NOM.

    My husband and I are totally rocking out on the sweet chili sauce from Trader Joe's. Pretty tasty.

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    Replies
    1. So good right? We love TJ's sauce too! TJ's is a bit of a haul for us, so if we need to buy locally, we get the one purchased above. Both are so tasty!

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  7. Wow! I so wish I would have thought about using the coleslaw mix. My daughter is a Filipina and we frequently make lumpia. We absolutely love Mae Ploy sweet chilli sauce! It can be used on so many things. We use it in the morning with our garlic fried rice and eggs! Thanks for saving me so much time!

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Comments make me more excited than Jessie Spano on caffeine pills!

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