When a woman is newly pregnant, she reads all the books possible about child rearing, and imagines the perfect life that awaits her and her impending bundle of joy. You take the vitamins, you try to eat right, you buy the right products, and microwave lunch meat and avoid delicious soft cheeses.
Once your babe arrives, you follow all the directions about feeding, sleep, back sleeping, safety, etc. You're tired, but you're there for your child every second, and life is bliss. The new mom is full of the "love hormone", and the bond between mother and child is impenetrable.
Fast forward three years, and your little manic, crazy, and bi-polar toddler has gotten you sick. You seek to help them get better on no sleep for yourself, and you can barely stay awake to make sure that you read "Cowboy and Octopus" just one more damn time. After all, the sick child needs to feel comforted.
Then later that day, you have a coughing fit while brushing your teeth, which starts a chain reaction of throwing up. The throwing up makes you throw up some more because um, gross.
As you hang your head over the toilet feeling sorry for yourself, you realize that all the kegals you did while pregnant have failed you, and you've peed your pants just a little during the coughing and vomiting-poloza.
In the other room, Patient Zero sleeps. Nary a worry in their little toe-head head.
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Oh, you poor thing! I hope you're feeling better soon.
ReplyDeleteAnd, yeah, that peeing thing? Only gets worse as you age. >:(
I agree...boohoo!!
DeleteThat was my day. I projectile vomited across my living room. Which my 19 month old proceeded to stomp through, laughing. That caused round 2- in the same spot! While peeing myself. Yay pregnancy. I ultimately ended up at the ER from what I now know is food poisoning. I wonder if I'll pee more after this next baby arrives.
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to let you know this totally happens to me when I'm sick. It's not just you.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I am so happy I'm past 50 and my kids are grown and gone!!! But I do remember those days!!! This too shall pass, my young friend!
ReplyDeleteSo true! Feel better soon
ReplyDeleteawww, stupid kegels! jaja hope it comforts you to know you bring laughter to others in your situation!! hope you feel better soon!
ReplyDeleteYup, been there. It does get better, really it does. The only thing that I've found has been really helping with "mother's pelvic floor" is regular pilates classes. It's like an hour-long pelvic floor exercise, with other stuff thrown in in the hope you'll begin to forget you're squeezing and releasing those particular muscles for that long. The first few classes I pretty much hobbled out of there with knees turned inwards, protecting my poor overworked lady bits. But wow, I've noticed a difference. Not sure if I'd survive the rigours of a coughing fit-induced vomiting session, but I'm not keen to test it either.
ReplyDeleteGet better soon - we're thinking of you!
i did that too last week except because i've got a stuffed back (technical term) my pelvic floor doesn't want to work ever :/ my inner thigh muscles are really taught though from crossing my legs and hopping to the loo lol
ReplyDeleteget well soon xx
Um, HA HA HA HA HA! This was perfect. I hope you feel better soon!
ReplyDeleteAmen, Hallelujah sister, you are preaching to the chorus here! I did it four times and there are still days I wonder why. (Pity that last baby, she was neglected at times and I missed out a on lot.) Just imagine chicken pox times four during a move from California to Oklahoma, with one hyperactive two year old who was magically out of his car seat every time we stopped somewhere! And the worst part is I don't even remember much about that trip.
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