The perfect roasted chicken

I don't make a lot of claims about doing anything "the best" (except my scrambled eggs).  So when I say this is the perfect, best roast chicken you can make at home, please read that with the conviction in which I wrote it.

What makes this chicken so perfect?  For the following reasons:

A) It's easy
B) It's delicious
C) It doesn't require anything fancy
D) It's a "fix it and forget it" kind of main dish

Shall we get started?  Let's.

Perfect (I swear) Roasted Chicken
1 whole chicken (if you can swing the cost of cage free, fancy chicken, it's worth it)
2 tblsp butter
1 tblsp olive oil
1 tsp dried parsley
1/4 tsp smoked paprika
1 1/2 tsp kosher salt (I know it seems like a lot)
4 cloves of garlic
2 springs fresh rosemary

1) Allow your chicken to sit on the counter for about an hour.  Chicken will roast more evenly if it isn't very cold.  Rinse it, pat it dry with 2 paper towels (one of the two uses I'll purchase paper towels for.  The other reason is because my husband loves them for blowing his nose.  Snot and chicken.  Lovely).  Preheat your oven to 375 degrees.

2) In a small dish, soften 2 tblsp of butter, and add the olive oil, parsley, smoked paprika, and kosher salt.

3) Then with your husband snapping pictures and acting like he is taking photos for Playboy, put the cloves in the "cavity" of the chicken.

4) Find the breast part of the chicken.  :Giggle:  Put the breast part down in a baking dish.  Rub the butter and herbed mixture over the non-boobed side of the chicken.  Flip it over, and (don't be squeamish) put some of the mixture between the skin and meat.  Then rub the rest of the butter schmear all over the boob side of the chicken.

5) Tuck the rosemary under the legs (or wings, or wherever you'd like).

6) You have a few choices here.  If you want this roasted all over, start by placing the breast side of the bird down in the baking dish, and bake for 30 minutes.  Then flip.  Or, if you're like me, and are lazy and just care about the top being "crispy", put the bird breast side up, and bake for about 90 minutes, or until the temperature reaches 180 degrees when you check with a meat thermometer.  Nope, there is not basting, no tenting - nothing. And it is going to turn out perfect!

After you're done eating what you've wanted to eat, pick off any extra meat and save it for tomorrow's meal.  Put the rest of it in a big freezer-proof gallon Ziploc, and save it for making stock.

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